If my creativity is lost, what am I accomplishing?
My heart is full, but my soul is drained.
Feelings like these follow big adventures.
I find myself coming back to this place when responsibility puts a wedge in the whirlwind, and life settles down for awhile.
It's been a year since my backpack and I have been on the go together and little did we know when we left for Asheville how fast the plan would change. Time has flown by. Between trips North for weddings and the consuming nature of working two jobs, I found myself saving in the fall for a road trip across the country, and saving in the winter for a sailing trip through the British Virgin Islands. Now I am back to all black frumpy waitressing clothes, reminiscing and just wondering....
In a city that fosters imagination and art, how is it possible that I can't find the time to make any?
Every dream takes a different amount of time to achieve, and the inspiration of my person is lost in someone else's.
At some point it is important to admit frustration. Whether it be with patterns, habits, or the simple fact that every once in awhile your life and your wallet must recalibrate.
How do you continue to seek inspiration when schedules are against you? Where do you turn, when you wish you were always readjusting your compass?
Living is the adventure, learning is the key, traveling is knowledge, and patience is time.
There is nothing more valuable then sitting and thinking of it all, right here, right now. If it weren't for now, I wouldn't be able to share what was. The prints of my fingers have touched the most beautiful sand and the fishes of the clearest waters have welcomed me into their homes. My mind wanders and my body wishes to follow, but once again I must remind myself that there is nothing more beautiful than now. The ability to take a seat and reflect is almost harder than getting up and going.
It's more valuable to think than to live and it's more important to live than to overthink.
Productivity is important, but art is not forced. Stress is inevitable and love is a gift
As 11 months lingers I think of who I am now. Proud, happy and longing of time to be my creative self.
As 11 months lingers, I send admiration for the old Ashley. A comfortable one, a powerful one. I think highly of her.
As 11 months in Asheville lingers, I concentrate on the patience of the sun and the moon. They spend their days working, knowing there is no break, no downtime. Day after day they preform the same task, yet manage to inspire creativity. This is what I must do, and respect that it might not be the project I dreamt about last night. That right now, it's not about me, it's about the foundations of who I am and what I intend to accomplish.
I must find comfort that I will once again sit for hours and hours covered in glue, bouncing ideas around and transforming a piece of blank wood. But for now, and probably for another now, it is okay to take some pressure off myself and just be. Do my day to day tasks in appreciation that the sum of the past year is the most creative I've been.
I watched the sunrise and sunset today. There isn't much a of a moon yet this time of evening, but it is somewhere out there...probably drinking a cup of coffee in preparation for its night shift.
The calm of this early evening reassures me that I am in a good place. The chaos of my life won't conquer my creativity forever and that in this moment I am confident in the Ashley that I am.
